KEV NEWS

Welcome to Kev News. Here you will find various items of interest, what most normal people call bullshit. So, let the bullshit begin!!!

Sunday, 9/19/99

The first update in a month...I realize I SHOULD have a lot to cover, but...naaah. Just a few things here and there. So, here you go...

IN THE NEWS for the week ending September 19 - -Last Wednesday, one Larry Gene Ashbrook shot into the Wedgwood Baptist Church in Fort Worth, Texas, killing four people. And what does it get on the news? A small blurb. It's sad that all people have become in the media is a bunch of numbers for everyone to pretend to mourn. That, my friends, is what's wrong with America. Not video games, not movies...it's the evening news. Watching some middle-aged white anchor making $400,000 a year and wearing a crooked toupee; commentating on some event which is obviously oblivious to him everywhere but on-camera...next on NBC Nightly News, potatoe overcharging in East Bumblefuck, Kentucky...is this the Fleecing of America?

-Joining party co-founder Ross Perot and Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura, Pat Buchanan is set to make the jump to the Reform Party. Wonderful. A whacky billionaire, a former professional wrestler, and a homophobic Nazi. The Triad is complete. Sounds more like a UPN sitcom than a political party.

-Miss Kentucky won the Miss America pageant tonight. Family members celebrated by waving their false teeth in the air and getting plastered off Uncle Jebekiah's homemade moonshine.

-Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan said in a recent report that the theorized "Y2K problem" would have a "negligible" impact on the economy. No shit, Alan. That's what everybody with half a brain has been saying since last year. You know what's going to happen with Y2K? Maybe some credit card problems, and anyone with a computer compatible with software created by Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble may experience some difficulty.

-In sports news, Sammy Sosa has officially become the only player in history to hit 60 homeruns in two consecutive seasons. Great. Hey, have I mentioned lately how much I hate that iron-pumping, lumbering, needle-in-the-ass, no-talent hack McGwire? Go Sammy. You da man.

-And finally...Oscar De La Hoya lost to Felix Trinidad by decision. Crud...I bet money that Trinidad would knock him da fuck OUT. Seriously, anybody out there who thought on his best night De La Hoya could even get a DECISION over Trinidad is just caught up in the media tidal wave created by De La Hoya's baby face. After three years of dodging, De La Hoya finally loses. I friggin' LOVE IT.

That's all for this week. Hopefully I can make this whole "weekly update" concept a reality once again. I know how much you all love this site...yes, both of you. Wait, that's Jason. Put your hand down. And your other one. There ya go.

OTHER SECTIONS

CLICK HERE FOR THE KEVNEWS INTERVIEW WITH JANET RENO. AT EASE, SOLDIER!

THE JESSE HELMS INTERVIEW - CLICK HERE.

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